Volunteer weekend #3

Volunteer team May 2013

A couple weekends ago we all went away. Babies to their weekend mom and dads. And, us volunteers to the middle of nowhere. Literally. About an hour on sand roads. We thought the bus was going to fall apart as Zoe drove on. It was volunteer weekend. Every three months it happens. A little get away in the mist of the crazy busy life we live here at TLC.

We got to stay in an awesome house. We all decided we need one at TLC. There was room for us all. All the girls stayed in the loft the boys all took separate rooms. Everyone happy.

This weekend was a bit different from the other two I have been on. The first very much about us as individuals. Lots of deep thinking. The second was all about the team with lots of games and team builders. This one was about the kids. We went over and learned about the circle of courage.

‘The Circle of Courage® is a model of youth empowerment supported by contemporary research, the heritage of early youth work pioneers and Native philosophies of child care. The model is encompassed in four core values: belonging, mastery, independence, and generosity. The central theme of this model is that a set of shared values must exist in any community to create environments that ultimately benefit all.’

I think we all learned a lot and now look at our kids a bit differently, With more awareness. More thoughts behind why they do what they do and don't do what they don't.

Zoe always does a great job with these weekends. Sessions mixed with games and relaxing. We took a nature walk on sunday. A herd of wildebeest kept running across the path infront of us. Very cool. We sat and relaxed by a river for a moment. 

 I think we were all glad to have the weekend away. So much had happened and changed in the last month that it was good to be together for a bit just us. Gave us a chance to get to know each other. There are lots of new volunteers. Im just sad that was my last volunteer weekend.

moms needed

So when my first niece as born and mom would leave her she cried. There was nothing that could stop her except mom coming back home. And the safely and comfort that only mom could provide.

 Well tonight I am with three crying babies and there is no mom that will walk into the room and relieve them. I am here doing only what I can do. As I type, one is one my chest. two in bouncy chairs being bounced. They have been feed. Changed and are loved. I guess its a bad night. Nights like this just shows me that these kids need moms (and dads) so much. It also makes me hurt for them for their tummy mommy's who for whatever reason couldn't keep them.

some thoughts.

Tomorrow will be the beginning of my last three months here at TLC. Time has flown. Its also have been slow. I can still remember vividly the time I met each of the kids. When I was trained in each of the sections and some days that feels like yesterday. Lately we have said goodbye to a lot of volunteers. At the end of next week we will be down to 8. (So if you or anyone of you knows someone who would love to come and love babies for a bit please come.)

Saying goodbye, taking fellow volunteers to the airport has started me thinking. Maybe worrying is a better word. In a few months that will be me. I’m not so scared of leaving this place and the babies. I know it will be hard and hurt a bit but I also know that other volunteers will come and love them and take care of them. TLC does a good job of that. LOVE.

What I'm frightened of or intimidated by or worried about it the after I get home. After Im unpacked. What happens next. I have spent a year loving babies and being the person they need to survive. I go home the only person who needs me is me. And, I’m not sure I like that.

I was explaining my worries to my mom about what is next and not knowing. She replied back that I am talented and something will come up. But, I don’t just want something. That sounds unimportant. I want to make a difference. I want to love and care and be someone people need.

I don’t want to go home and just live life. I want a life to live. I don’t want to get sucked into the mundane. To the ordinary. To the normal.