39 Days. Sports Day.

So last summer or fall for everyone on the northern hemisphere fall/winter we all got together. Everyone at TLC came all the kids, staff, and volunteers and had a day of it. Many races. Some on bikes some on knees and more on feet.

The volunteers even raced. It was fun. Lots of laughs that day. It was nice to be outside the beautiful day all together.

40 days. MUD PUDDLES.

So I have about 40 days till Im home. Till this adventure is over. I thought I would try to share a memory or a child or something I have learned this year each day till I get home.

So for DAY ONE.

Its PUDDLE JUMPING!!  Always fun. Always messy. Always a must after a big storm.

There maybe lots of mud after but the kids love it. I miss those days.

Is it normal???

Is it normal to know just how long to heat 120ml of formula?
Is it normal to flip kids upside down to smell their bums for a poo?
Is it normal to bath 8 2 year olds at one time?
Is it normal to be in your pjs at 730 on a Friday night and asleep by 800?
Is it normal to know the color of bottles assigned to the babies as far back as September?
Is it normal to what dummies what babies like? All 20 of them.
Is it normal to not mind ants that fall onto my toast in the morning from the syrup bottle?
Is it normal to think its normal to but 3 babies in a stroller made for one?
Is it normal to be in a room for 4 hrs with 5 babies under 4 months, just you and them?
Is it normal to be responsible for babies 20 minutes after you get up?
Is it normal that your idea of getting out is a mall visit with a year old attached?
Is it normal to see buggers inside a nose and have the need to pick them out?
Is it normal to not know what day of the week it is?
Is it normal to wear clothes over and over and over even thought hey have cereal, spit up and who knows what else on them? As long as they don’t smell they are clean. They are just going to get dirty again tomorrow.
Is it normal to eat grilled cheese for breakfast and dinner and be excited about it because you haven’t seen cheese in a week?
Is it normal to tell 2 year olds to “get naked” on a daily basis?

Just the normal life here at TLC but normal on the outside.

"you made me sad"

Disappointment.

noun
the feeling of sadness or displeasure caused by the nonfulfillment of one's hopes or expectations

I experienced this last night. After a wonderful evening with the lions that included a bubble bath, movie night and evening walk. It all happened when I left the room to grab the milk. I often leave for a minute to go grab something and felt that I could. Now I don’t know. While playing dogs my lions actually “ate” a mattress. I walked back in the room with them all gathered around one of their beds with big holes in it and bits of plastic and stuffing on the floor. I got them into their beds right away and after a session of crying we talked about what happened. About how I was sad and how it was not good to bite things and ruin things. After they all said sorry to me and I gave them all kisses and told them I love them we went to bed.




I have never been this disappointed in one of my kids before. I don’t like the feeling. I don’t feel that I can ever leave them by themselves again. And I don’t think its an overreaction after a long day in the nursery. Its actually sad. They all know better. Every one of them. But for some reason they decided to put what they know behind them and go crazy.

As much as I was sad/angry/disappointed in them I wanted them to know that I still love them. That they were naughty but that doesn’t change my love for them.

I guess that is kind of how it works with God. We can mess up do something that we know is wrong but still do (sin) but he DOES still love us. No matter what we do it cant take His love away.



   

So even though I went to bed sad about the lions last night I went to be feeling secure that the Lord DOES love me. That He ALWAYS will.

My friday night.

Rocking 5 babies at one time.

love

There are moments that make we wonder what it will be like with my one kids.

The other night when one of our kids started walking on his own. He has had many obstacles to overcome in life. Him walking shows that He is a fighter. That he will continue to overcome all that is put in front of him. Many cried and many more were SO excited. A smile didn’t leave my face all night. Even days later seeing him walk makes me so proud of him and so happy. How will it be when my own kids start walking?

Just look at that face. Such joy.

Then there is when certain kids get up at 4am. WAY to early to start the day. Being on Night Shift this is the one thing you hope doesn’t happen. When it does you dread it. Will I be willing to get my kids out of bed and snuggle or play with them at 4am or will I want to roll over and sleep? My guess is it will depend on the day.
 

Then there are the messy meals. I mean mess who knew food could travel that far in one meal?

Or when a nestie cries and cries. Will I have more love and compassion with my own?


I love these kids. Each of them. Even the ones that get to me at times. I cant imagine loving someone more than I love some of these. But I know it will be different with my own.

Volunteer weekend #3

Volunteer team May 2013

A couple weekends ago we all went away. Babies to their weekend mom and dads. And, us volunteers to the middle of nowhere. Literally. About an hour on sand roads. We thought the bus was going to fall apart as Zoe drove on. It was volunteer weekend. Every three months it happens. A little get away in the mist of the crazy busy life we live here at TLC.

We got to stay in an awesome house. We all decided we need one at TLC. There was room for us all. All the girls stayed in the loft the boys all took separate rooms. Everyone happy.

This weekend was a bit different from the other two I have been on. The first very much about us as individuals. Lots of deep thinking. The second was all about the team with lots of games and team builders. This one was about the kids. We went over and learned about the circle of courage.

‘The Circle of Courage® is a model of youth empowerment supported by contemporary research, the heritage of early youth work pioneers and Native philosophies of child care. The model is encompassed in four core values: belonging, mastery, independence, and generosity. The central theme of this model is that a set of shared values must exist in any community to create environments that ultimately benefit all.’

I think we all learned a lot and now look at our kids a bit differently, With more awareness. More thoughts behind why they do what they do and don't do what they don't.

Zoe always does a great job with these weekends. Sessions mixed with games and relaxing. We took a nature walk on sunday. A herd of wildebeest kept running across the path infront of us. Very cool. We sat and relaxed by a river for a moment. 

 I think we were all glad to have the weekend away. So much had happened and changed in the last month that it was good to be together for a bit just us. Gave us a chance to get to know each other. There are lots of new volunteers. Im just sad that was my last volunteer weekend.

moms needed

So when my first niece as born and mom would leave her she cried. There was nothing that could stop her except mom coming back home. And the safely and comfort that only mom could provide.

 Well tonight I am with three crying babies and there is no mom that will walk into the room and relieve them. I am here doing only what I can do. As I type, one is one my chest. two in bouncy chairs being bounced. They have been feed. Changed and are loved. I guess its a bad night. Nights like this just shows me that these kids need moms (and dads) so much. It also makes me hurt for them for their tummy mommy's who for whatever reason couldn't keep them.

some thoughts.

Tomorrow will be the beginning of my last three months here at TLC. Time has flown. Its also have been slow. I can still remember vividly the time I met each of the kids. When I was trained in each of the sections and some days that feels like yesterday. Lately we have said goodbye to a lot of volunteers. At the end of next week we will be down to 8. (So if you or anyone of you knows someone who would love to come and love babies for a bit please come.)

Saying goodbye, taking fellow volunteers to the airport has started me thinking. Maybe worrying is a better word. In a few months that will be me. I’m not so scared of leaving this place and the babies. I know it will be hard and hurt a bit but I also know that other volunteers will come and love them and take care of them. TLC does a good job of that. LOVE.

What I'm frightened of or intimidated by or worried about it the after I get home. After Im unpacked. What happens next. I have spent a year loving babies and being the person they need to survive. I go home the only person who needs me is me. And, I’m not sure I like that.

I was explaining my worries to my mom about what is next and not knowing. She replied back that I am talented and something will come up. But, I don’t just want something. That sounds unimportant. I want to make a difference. I want to love and care and be someone people need.

I don’t want to go home and just live life. I want a life to live. I don’t want to get sucked into the mundane. To the ordinary. To the normal.