I'm not perfect. I fail sometimes.

So that is hard for me to admit, especially to myself.

 I want to do things correct and right the first time I do them. Many things do come easy to me so I expect everything to. But they don't. There are days at work that the the cupcakes I bake come out of the oven too big or too small. Sometimes the cakes overflow and cause a big mess. Sometimes I say the wrong words. Sometimes I forget things or add numbers wrong or I forget to brush my teeth. Or I don't do my homework right. Or I don't speak up when I should. Even the things I'm good at I struggle to see that I am good at it. I just expect to fail at things because I can't do them perfect.

So I'm reading my Discipleship homework tonight, a few chapters from the book Living Gods Word, and I read:

"Because we live int he overlap between this age and the age to come, we will experience victories as well as struggles until Jesus returns. [one example given is] - We experience God's forgiveness, BUT we still sin and will never be perfect in this life."

Bam. Right there, the very thing that I hold over myself is not even possible. It's way to high of a bar to expect myself to get to. That goal is too high. Too perfect. A little later on that same page I read:

"God takes time to accomplish his work in our lives. He will continue to work until Christ returns (see Phil 1:6). We will always be growing and maturing in this life, but we will not be morally perfect and sinless until Christ returns."

So while its good to try to be better, perfect may not be a good goal. Where is the Freedom in that? Where is the Grace? The Hope? If we are not to be perfect till Christ comes back, then accomplishing that goal before He returns takes away His reason to return.

"Discipleship is the lifelong process of learning how to be like Jesus in every aspect of life"

Keyword here being LIFELONG. So it takes a while to be like Him. Its not something anyone can "perfect" in a day. A week. A couple years. Its a journey that takes our whole lives. And not till the end when we are with Him are we PERFECT.

So I need to take the pressure off myself. I need to enjoy this journey. Take time to sit and relax. Take time to laugh and enjoy. To learn from Him who knows it all. Who is the example and who is working in me to make me more like Him.