Today I cried.

Last summer. At the Pond.

I went with my dad to visit my Grandma.  She is now in a home. Its been a long tough road for all of us. She was and still is such a strong lady that its hard to see her curled up in bed staring off into space.  We usually bring Grandma home for Sunday dinner but after last week Dad wanted to see how she was. So we went to see her. 





She was laying in bed when we got there. Covered up with blanks and a blank stare.  We talked to her and rubbed her back.   Dad left the room to talk to one of the ladies working there so it was just me and Grandma.  I have for about a week now had this feeling that we needed to tell her that it was okay to leave us. She is a strong lady and could probably out last us all. But she deserves to be happy. So once I mustered up my strength and bravery (dad had reentered at this point) I told her that it was okay to go be with Grandpa that we would be okay and that I wanted her to be happy. She deserves that. Then the tears came. Dad also reassured her that she could go be with Grandpa, Uncle John and Aunt Mary. That she can relax and its okay to leave. It was hard to both say and hear these words but my Grandma is a fighter. Survived Chemo twice and lost her husband at a early age. Part of me really felt that she is holding on for us. I just needed to tell her that she didn’t have to.  


I think of all my Grandma has taught and shown me over the years. All the things she has made it through.  It is just not fair for her to have such a hard end to life. 

 

This summer.

If you have a little extra prayer in you. Pray for peace for her. Pray that she can let go and truly go Home. It will be hard for us when this happens but it will be WAY better for her.